FALLING
IN LOVE IS TERRIFIC, isn't it? Like bungee jumping with a bottle of
laughing gas thrown in. But falling for someone doesn't always translate
into the deep kind of love that lasts forever.
I look at love from different perspectives: from my own life, as a
counselling psychologist (my day job), and as a novelist (my other day
job). In other words, I think about love a lot!
Speaking for myself, I've been best friends with Tom, my husband, for
over 25 years, and our 22nd wedding anniversary is coming up next month.
I'm touching wood to ward off ill luck as I say this, but I think daily
happiness is boosted by continuing your dating habits into married
life. (If you want to check out that train of thought,
check out my psychology page post)
But there's more to keeping the fires burning than that, isn't there? We
can fall in love in an instant and then later discover there just isn't
the foundation for a lasting loving relationship.
My perspective is that the basis comes from sharing the same worldview.
Like Sophie and Richard in
His Laughing Girl come
from wildly different backgrounds but if you look closer, they are very
much alike. Sophie and Richard both work hard and have lots of pride in
their jobs because they feel their careers are a big part of their
identity. They acknowledge this and they support each other.
For Richard and Sophie, work ethic is attractive but it wouldn’t sit so
well with someone who is disinterested in career success. In fact,
that's what caused so much trouble when ever busy Quique in
Dirty Dealings married Tina whose idea of a good time is doing nothing.
I think that when you both have the same attitudes to how life works,
you tend to tackle things the same way. And that is what I think is the
basis for the successful Happily Ever After.
Note: Hi, this is my first newsletter! I’m going to write one like
this every two months or so. If you want to receive just notices of new
releases, shoot me a reply and I’ll create a new list for that, okay?
And if you want to chat, email me by hitting reply or visit me on my Facebook page.
Hugs, Ellen
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